So, I want to begin with a story real quick. Yesterday, I witnessed some banter between two of my roommates. One of them was looking at grills on the internet, as he was looking to buy one. Here's the key snippet:
Roommate #1: "No, I said I was looking at grills!"
Roommate #2: "I'm pretty sure you said girls, not grills."
Roommate #1: 'What does it matter? They both do the same thing: they both cook you food!"
I personally found it hilarious. I decided to post that exchange on Facebook. I got a few likes, including from some of my lady friends, but some other women took umbrage with it. Statements of "That's not funny, Ryan," and the like, implying that such a joke was offensive. I decided against my better judgement to delete the post, as I didn't want to get into an argument on Facebook. However, after sleeping on it, I really want to say a couple things here, especially to those who might have found that joke "offensive."
First off, I did not make this joke. My roommates did, though I found it funny. This does not reflect how I honestly feel about women. I realize it is a joke based on an untrue stereotype, but still funny.
Second, the fact that people were somehow "offended"... lets stop right there. Who gets to decide what is offensive? Do people have any idea just how incredibly subjective "offense" is? Who gets to make that rule? Heck, I'll save everyone the trouble. I propose a new rule: from now on, no one can post jokes, insults, and the like about women, men, Jews/Mormons/other religions, etc. Anything that can be perceived as offensive is not allowed.
Do you see the problem here? The problem is not that something is offensive. It is 100% impossible to cause offense. You choose to be offended. End of story. There is a talk given by Elder Bednar at the October 2006 General Conference, entitled "And Nothing Shall Offend Them". There's a quote I want to pull from it here:
So no, I do not regret posting that joke. I still think it's funny. If you don't, then that's your problem, not mine. I won't fault you for not liking that joke. Ignore it. Unfriend me if it bothers you that much! But don't ever expect me to tip-toe around your imaginary line of offense and political correctness.
Roommate #1: "No, I said I was looking at grills!"
Roommate #2: "I'm pretty sure you said girls, not grills."
Roommate #1: 'What does it matter? They both do the same thing: they both cook you food!"
I personally found it hilarious. I decided to post that exchange on Facebook. I got a few likes, including from some of my lady friends, but some other women took umbrage with it. Statements of "That's not funny, Ryan," and the like, implying that such a joke was offensive. I decided against my better judgement to delete the post, as I didn't want to get into an argument on Facebook. However, after sleeping on it, I really want to say a couple things here, especially to those who might have found that joke "offensive."
First off, I did not make this joke. My roommates did, though I found it funny. This does not reflect how I honestly feel about women. I realize it is a joke based on an untrue stereotype, but still funny.
Second, the fact that people were somehow "offended"... lets stop right there. Who gets to decide what is offensive? Do people have any idea just how incredibly subjective "offense" is? Who gets to make that rule? Heck, I'll save everyone the trouble. I propose a new rule: from now on, no one can post jokes, insults, and the like about women, men, Jews/Mormons/other religions, etc. Anything that can be perceived as offensive is not allowed.
Do you see the problem here? The problem is not that something is offensive. It is 100% impossible to cause offense. You choose to be offended. End of story. There is a talk given by Elder Bednar at the October 2006 General Conference, entitled "And Nothing Shall Offend Them". There's a quote I want to pull from it here:
"When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.
So please don't sit there and tell me that I have offended you, or that I should censor myself because you yourself did not like that joke. In all honesty, if that joke offended you, you need to grow some thicker skin. As far as sexist jokes/comments go, that's one of the milder ones I've heard. I've heard a lot of jokes and insults directed at me in my life, whether it's because I'm a nerd, because I'm LDS, or for other reasons. And you know what? I made the choice some time ago to simply not be offended. I cannot control people and what they say, nor should I. What I can control is how I react, and I've learned I can spare myself a lot of anger, frustration, and hurt feelings by simply choosing to not let it bother me. It's not easy, but trust me: you'll be saving yourself a lot of time."In the grand division of all of God’s creations, there are things to act and things to be acted upon (see 2 Nephi 2:13–14). As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond to an offensive or hurtful situation."
So no, I do not regret posting that joke. I still think it's funny. If you don't, then that's your problem, not mine. I won't fault you for not liking that joke. Ignore it. Unfriend me if it bothers you that much! But don't ever expect me to tip-toe around your imaginary line of offense and political correctness.
I like this post :)
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